I was at one of the exclusive shopping centers here last week wandering through the maze of sidewalk sale items, when I spotted a boutique shop with unique clothing.

Being the curious type, I paused long enough to check out prices on a couple of the items that were marked 40 percent off, and I almost swallowed my false teeth. OK, so the only false teeth I have are attached, but I certainly did a double take.

These boutique dresses were selling for $326 each. Are you thinking they were made of some exotic fabric? Then you would be wrong. Those dresses were made in a foreign country-I’ll leave where to your imagination-and were not even well made. True, a lot of the work on the dresses was done by hand, such as the embroidery on the bodice and lower skirt, but it wasn’t even good handwork and the fabric was coarse. Perhaps this is stylish in the 21st century, but not for this old country girl. Our feed sack dresses of the 1930s and ‘40s would have put these to shame. Besides, my mother was a much better seamstress than the person who made these.

Personally, I think those dresses were very tacky, but then I’m not a fashion plate. By today’s standards, I have poor taste in clothing. My wardrobe has nothing that clings to every lump and bump on my body. My blouses do not show cleavage. My skirts are long enough to maintain some privacy when I sit, bend or stand. My underwear does not show, nor can you see fat rolls that hide my bellybutton. You will not see me wearing shorts or skirts that barely cover the rear and leave nothing to the imagination. I didn’t even do that when I was 20, and I certainly have no plans to start now. The Ellie Clampett look wasn’t for me even when I was slim and trim, and I’d sure hate to frighten anyone by dressing that way today.

I realize that my style is simple, but that is what I’m most comfortable wearing. When I see women my age wearing things designed for the very slim young female, I cringe. There are some things that should be left to your teenager or granddaughter to wear. Cropped tops, very low cut sleeveless knit tops, short-shorts, low ride jeans or pants do not flatter a “mature” figure. And if you must be fashionable and spend $326 for one small dress that looks as if you made it of cheesecloth, please sleep in it but don’t wear it in public. If you do sleep in it, remember to throw a robe over it if guests are present. You don’t want to ruin their appetite so early in the morning.

Quotable Quote: “It is unwise to grab the bait before you consider the hook.” Unknown.